Here are 15 tips for a single father that help him manage things better and give a superb upbringing to his kids.
Raising kids is not a piece of cake. It takes both parents to raise well-adjusted and cheerful kids. But at times, an only parent has to raise kids. Usually, single parenthood is associated with mothers. However, 2.5 million-plus households are led by a single father in the U.S. Since 1960, this number shows a nine-time increase when the country had less than 3, 00,000.
Single fathers are as capable of raising their kids as single mothers. But they go through a few unique challenges. Here are 15 tips for becoming a successful single father.
15 Tips for a Single Father
Taking care of kids as a single dad is overwhelming at times. It becomes challenging to juggle the work and parenting responsibilities all alone. For instance, single fathers don’t have much social support. It is less reliable that results in them feeling lonely.
As a single father, you also have a more difficult time being at work when your kids need you. Exam preparations, being sick, and school events are some of the instances when kids need you but you are occupied at work.
To help you reduce stress while giving care, attention, and love to your kids; follow these 15 tips to raise children as a single dad:
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Set a Routine
A single parent’s life can be chaotic. You don’t have to care for your kids like you – the father but also have to be their mother whenever required. It is thus important to have a set routine to streamline the entire day. By setting goals for your family, you can avoid the everyday grind.
So, successful single dads should figure out a routine and stick to it as an important step to raise their kids. Bedtime, meals, getting to school, playtime, homework, television, etc. should be sorted, planned, and stuck to. Without it, years can pass by in a blink of an eye.
And you will be wondering where all the time went. Set the routine and you will stay focused to achieve what you want. Otherwise, hectic schedules won’t let you have the energy and time to fulfill your goal.
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Listen to Your Kids
Make sure that you listen to your kids. And also try to understand them. Men have the tendency to jump into action at the first instance of a problem. But when your kids approach you with something, it is not they are seeking solutions. They want to be listened to first. They are looking for reassurance and comfort.
So, a smart single dad advice is to have an open mind when your kids are upset. Don’t be quick to be harsh on them when they are angry. Take time to judge. In several cases, they are just trying to communicate what is bothering them.
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Befriend Other Parents
It becomes difficult for single parents to have a social life. But bring your kids along and you can too have one. Let your little ones join with you the events and get-togethers.
You too get along with other parents; whether in your society, at your kids’ school, coaching center, or hobby/extra-curriculum class. So, one of the tips for raising kids alone is to broaden your social circle. Befriending other parents who are in similar stages is a great way to do this.
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Don’t Be Overprotective
Single fathers stay under the constant pressure of giving their best to their kids. So, you feel like being burdened by the responsibilities of keeping your kids happy and safe. Even the thought of any harm coming close to them is devastating. This makes you overprotective of them.
But here is the catch. Resist the temptation to be overprotective. It is among the top 15 useful tips on parenting for single fathers. You need to maintain a balance. Let your kids be free (under your watch/guidance). Allow them to push boundaries safely and let them know that they are always loved.
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Stay Consistent with Discipline
When it comes to discipline, stay consistent. In the pursuit of playing the role of single father perfectly, you may want to enforce rules for the “good” of your kid. But kids grow well when they know how to behave, what is expected, and the rules to follow. Remember this as one of the essential tips that will help single dads.
Refrain from giving mixed signals to your kids. If you have another parent to share the discipline with, ensure that you are on the same page. If your kids happen to talk to theirs, they must know that disciplinary rules are the same for every kid. This will also maintain the harmonious relationship between you and your kids.
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Stay Healthy
Your children need you the most. It is thus important to keep yourself active, healthy, and fit. Eat a balanced diet. Work out for 15-30 minutes every day. This helps maintain your cardiovascular health.
Being a single dad, you have to handle the demanding role and schedule of a single parent. By staying in shape, you will be able to do justification to your responsibilities. Long work hours, helping your kids in studies, playing with them, and even cooking – all can be done when you are healthy.
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Take Time For Yourself
Being a single parent doesn’t mean that you won’t take time for yourself. It is good for your mental and emotional health. Focus on yourself. Although it is difficult to take time away from your obligations as a single father, a day to relax and spend for yourself is important.
So, one of the 15 top tips for single parents is to take time for yourself at least once per month. It helps you focus better and recharge yourself. Take up your hobby or enjoy your favorite pastime. It is not easy to do so but you can plan ahead and indulge in something that makes you happy. Eventually, it is good not only for you but also for your kids.
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Find a Female Role Model For Your Kids
One of the 15 tips for a single father is to find a female role model for your kids. If the mother of your kids is not the correct one to be their role model or is not in the scene at all, look for someone. Having a female role model is of utmost importance for your kids, especially if you have a daughter.
With a positive female relative or a close friend by your side, the void in their lives will be filled. Look for someone who gels well with your kids and with whom they can open up and find comfort.
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Go Dating
Yes. You read that right. Everyone needs a companion for life. Irrespective of the reason, you have turned into a single father, you should go dating. Being a single dad after divorce or widowerhood is not easy. Usually, single dads are reluctant to date. The fear of upsetting their kids by introducing them to someone new, especially at home holds them back.
But if you make up your mind to test the waters of dating, go ahead. Don’t have second thoughts about it. You are not being selfish. It is something every normal human being needs and desires. It is good for your emotional health. However, consider the feelings of your kids. Gradually introduce them to the new person in your life. Help them get used to the fact that she will soon be a significant part of their lives and they will be a part of her life too.
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Schedule Fun Time With Kids
The next one among 15 tips for a single father is to ensure that your kids have ample time to enjoy themselves with you. Plan an activity every week that keeps them excited to look forward to. It is not necessary that you have to plan something expensive to make them have fun with you.
A trip to the zoo, at a local museum, at the park, a picnic, a quick hike to a trail nearby, and even a movie night with pizza are amazing ways to have fun together. It will also strengthen your bond with your kids. Create beautiful memories to treasure for life.
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Encourage Your Kids To Expand Their Horizons
Among 15 tips for single dads, encouraging your kids to partake in various activities is important. It is not just studies that should keep them occupied but various other activities also. Even if you have preschool kids, there are options to keep them engaged and learn as well.
Motivate them to join sports, any after-school program, karate, dance, or swimming classes. These activities will result in their multi-dimensional growth. They will have less time to think about being kids of a single father. These activities will keep them engaged and help in shaping up their personality.
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Take Care of Yourself
Being physically and mentally fit is not enough. You have to be emotionally fit too to take care of your kids. Tie it on your finger as one of the important 15 tips for a single father. Sacrificing your own well-being for the sake of kids is easy. But it is damaging.
If you compromise with the way you handle stress, anxiety, sadness, depression, any insecurity; it will be disastrous in the long run. Step back. Think deeply. Introspect. Ask yourself if you are doing what is correct for you. Listen to the answer and act accordingly. Don’t hesitate to seek help if required.
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Never Badmouth Their Mother
Never use negative words about the mother of your kids. Honestly answer their questions, while being neutral. Their mother might deserve your anger and distress. But don’t let your kids pick the bad blood between you and their mom. They are kids, who are dealing with the unfortunate situation of living in a single-parent family.
Give them time to understand. Make sure that your words don’t cloud their opinion about their mom. Kids are very sensitive to stress, fury, and depression in others. If you let these feelings out, they can easily pick it up and have their emotional health affected. However, remember that your kids are not your therapist. They must feel that you still respect their mother, irrespective of the circumstances. Refrain from returning disgrace with disgrace.
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Share Your Challenges With Your Employer
The role of a modern-day father is changing. And being a single parent, this role will be more demanding. So, never hide your challenges from your employer. Maintaining balanced work and family life might add to the challenges of a single father. So, talk to your employer.
There are many employers who work with single parents on schedule. Offer your employer a little to get a little in return. Ask him/her to start your office schedule early so that you can leave early for home and spend time with your kids. Offer to complete your official responsibilities while working from home when your kids need you to be with them.
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Don’t Over Pamper Your Kid
Here is one of the super important single parenting tips for men. At times, you tend to over pamper your kids. Though your intention is to just love them a little more, doing it often wires their brain to be treated only this way. Take away the pampering time and your kid will have all the reasons to misbehave.
You might also do so when you feel guilty and bad about your kids being deprived of their mother’s love. Don’t do that. Never blame yourself. Trying to pamper them more than required as compensation for being a single parent spoils them. Pamper them but remember, excess of everything is bad.
Your life will be chock-a-block-full with things as a single father. But these 15 tips for a single father will help you at almost every step of raising your little angles. Get ready for a roller-coaster ride as you start the new phase of your life as a single dad. You will be busy. You will have fun. You will have a rewarding experience. Your life will be everything but easy. Parenting kids alone is challenging from the first day itself.
To play the roles of both –father and mother, you will struggle every day. You have to be the friend, philosopher, and guide. Being a single dad is tough but rewarding. With the aforementioned 15 essential parenting advice for single fathers, you can manage things better and more efficiently.
And I am sure, you will raise responsible and sensible kids. Your upbringing will shape the citizens who will contribute immensely to making the world a better place.
Take a bow in advance.